Miserable

Feeding time has become a dirty word in our house. No one likes it, no one wants to do it. Jim and I frequently argue over who's turn it is. Even Johnathon has begun to dislike it.

A little background information first, I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but with reflux babies you are supposed to hold them upright for 15-30 minutes after you feed them. Our doctor recommended we try for 30 minutes.  So, for every feeding you are at least committed to 30 minutes of sitting still. Now, I'm not saying that holding Johnathon is bothersome, so please don't mistake me. However, add another 45 minutes to an hour (or more) of sitting still on to that 30 minutes (that's how long it's been taking him to drink 4 oz. of formula) and you have a whole other story. It's hard to sit still for an hour and a half. Meanwhile, you are listening to Johnathon scream bloody murder and he's thrashing around (and for those of you who have never held Johnathon, he's a pretty strong little guy) and spitting formula all over you. It's hard not to lose your cool especially when nothing you're doing is helping to console the little guy.

I've literally thought that if there was a 90 day return policy on babies, Johnathon would be going back to the store. We've tried all kinds of things to help make feedings go more smoothly: new bottles (we've tried 4 different kinds), different formulas, gas drops, rice cereal, medicine, very frequent burping breaks (after every oz.), wedges, tummy rubbing, shushing, music, swaddling, etc. Some have helped a bit but not enough to actually make a huge difference.

I was sure that it was just his reflux medicine not working well, till one day he broke out in little red pimply bumps and got all splotchy. Then I got to wondering, which lead me to a search on the internet. I found out that reflux symptoms and protein intolerance symptoms are similar. So, he might be allergic to soy or intolerant to soy. And after consulting with the doctor she seemed to agree with me. So, he's on yet another formula, a hypoallergenic one. I'm still pretty sure that he has reflux though, so he stays on the medicine.

I just can't believe what a rough and miserable life my little baby has had! I feel bad that I didn't put two and two together faster, so that he can start enjoying life and all the little experiences he's going to have. Sometimes I really feel that someone should revoke my mommy license...